May 03, 2005
Theives! Liars! Thieves! Liars!
When I'm accosted on the street by one of my legion of minions - and, believe me, it happens far more frequently than you'd think - the one thing that most of them tend to ask me is: "David, why are you such an irritable, angry, miserable, woman-hating, depressing bastard?"
The answer is a complex one, but if I could pinpoint the exact moment that initiated my complete and total mental collapse - it would be when I realised that other people were making literally millions of dollars out of my hard work and ingenuity.
The next time you go to your local multiplex to check out some of the latest cinematic effluvia to be excreted from Hollywood's cancerous anus, I want you to remember that the source of all effluvia is your very own Uncle David. Back in the good old days, I dreamed of carving out a career in the cinema - but, living in Melbourne, I figured that I had little chance of success in my hometown. So, I gathered up some of my favourite ideas - which I'd sketched out loosely - and sent them to Mike Ovitz. The snakey bastard never replied to me, but - lo and behold - my ideas began to surface over the years in a number of the largest grossing films of all time. Here, I attempt to set the record straight by showing you the original concept drawings that have become - unheralded - the bedrock of modern film.
since when have you been a woman-hating bastard? you hid that pretty well from me!
Posted by: minga at May 3, 2005 07:02 PMBloody capitalist bastards. I shall go and slap an American immediately with a wet cabbage leaf, then scream in their face for an hour about the fate of Lesbian Beagles in some-third-world-country or the other.
Remember, a better world is possible if we fight for it.
Posted by: TimT at May 5, 2005 08:44 PM